Lessons from Colossians (Part 2): The Sanctity of Family

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion . . . And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony" (Col. 3:12, 14).

The Colossian community was one in which several different ideas, theologies, religions, and practices blurred any clear path for Christian virtue. The Colossians were bombarded by cultural forces that came from every direction, and Paul saw to it that they would set their eyes on Christ--the truth as represented in the Gospel. He encouraged the church: "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God" (3:16).

As an example of how the Colossians felt during this time consider how you feel when you are facing a decision as to what to wear on any given day. Imagine going into your closet and looking at your entire wardrobe and wondering what you're to wear. How do you dree? For whom do you dree? Does this or that make you look too fat? Too thin? Too revealing? Too wrinkled? Each article of clothing represents a different part of your identity, and you choose based on how you feel that day.

The Colossians had a lot of "clothes" from which to choose: pagan practices, Jewish practices, Gnostic and Mystery religious practices. Every day, the church had to ask, "Who are we going to be today?" They had to ask, "What were they to wear today?"

In Colossians 3:1-21, Paul tells the church to "strip off" their old selves, selves saturated with lies, envy, idolatry, and coveting; and to put on the new clothes of Christ: compassion, forgiveness, and peace. Paul understood that when Christians come into the family of God, then they come under the lordship of Christ--a united idea that transcends any local identities, nationalities, socio-economic realities (Col. 3:11).

Interestingly, Paul knew that cultural confusion hits the hardest among families (Col. 3:18-21). There are so many different individuals that make up a family, and each individual has an idea for how to act, behave, think, and speak. Paul knew that the family was the first "line of defense" in the midst of Christianity's cultural war. Families are so confused about who they are in Christ that chaos has become the rule rather than the exception: divorce rates continue to hover around 60%; live-in couples feel more safe than traditional marriages; children are being exposed to domestic violence and parental neglect.

Fundamentalists point out that homosexuals are to blame, but they only fail to realize that entire families are under attack by a tempest of cultural forces that go beyond the bounds of any one scapegoat. We must resist the temptation to scapegoat any one reason for the breakdown in families (taking prayer out of school, the feminist movement, Brown v. Board of Education, and the like). Rather, author Tilden Edwards articulates the complex types of pressures that families face:

"New visions of the old beast seem to rise from the murky, tempestuous sea of our time with relentless steadiness, with vast armaments, wars, famine, and disease, earthquake and flood, with political and social oppression, bad jobs and no jobs, unresponsive and entrenched bureaucracies, brutality and callousness, family and social disintegration, with environmental rape, with trivial, mind-numbing consumer diversion. Inside us, driving, competing, confused desires and fears bounce us from fleeting pain to fleeting pleasure, making us ever more and other there, rarely content with enough here. That is man becoming without being, adrift without compass, revolting in revolt, falling though in blindness calling it rising, or in darkness, calling it damned." [1]

A breakdown of families in society and the disruption of the very fabric of our Christian mores in the Family of the Church reveal that we are not much different than the Colossians. We are confused about what we are to do, individually and corporately. Paul was indeed on to something when he brought families into a conversation in which he told the church to "seek things that are above where Christ is" (3:1, RSV).

When I go into a Walmart and walk down the picture-frame aisle, I see happy faces: couples, children, senior citizens holding hands. Those pictures are merely snapshots of dreamy love scenes; they don't reveal the hurt and frustration, the conflict and the resentment that course through families, marriages, and relationships. In church, we look like those snapshots, we are well dressed, happy, and pleasant. But we don't see the hurt and conflict of our own families because we lack the intimacy and trust to allow our church Family to uphold our marriages, child-rearing, unreconciled relationships, and frustrations.

We must hear Paul in our own time: "Families, put on Christ! Wear the clothes of compassion, the fabrics of peace, and the wardrobe of forgiveness."Echoing this sentiment, Baptist ethicist, David Gushee, once wrote that families must,

"Establish and maintain the kind of faith community in which relationships of intimacy, trust, and accountability can grow. One of the most elusive commodities in contemporary church life is accountability and honest intimacy within the church family. Far too frequently church is experienced as a place that individuals or families attend once or twice a week or less. Here individuals rub shoulders with other individuals for a brief time. But when it comes to honest communication concerning heartfelt needs, hurts, trials, and temptations, it is nowhere to be found. When churches get past this superficiality and reach more authentic corporate intimacy, it is a wondrous thing to behold." [2]

This is Paul's challenge for the Colossian Christians; and it's God's challenge for us--our families and our churches--today.

Sources:
[1] Tilden Edwards, Spiritual Friendship: Reclaiming the Gift of Spiritual Direction (New York: Paulist Press, 1980): 13-14.
[2] David Gushee, Getting Marriage Right: Realistic Counsel for Saving and Strengthening Relationships (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2004): 199.